Trust

I have often found I am hugely anxious when it comes to car problems. We live in the country, where it is imperative to own a working car. We also have a large family and must drive a seven seater, at the least. Our mini-van has been having problems ever since the extended warranty expired (of course). We took it to the mechanic yesterday to find out that the needed repairs will cost more than the van is worth. A series of emotions welled up, but the most noticeable was doubting God’s love for me. I was worried about this need, and while trying to figure out a way to solve it, I was muttering little prayers under my breath, like “God, please help us make a good decision.” Or “Please bless us.”

While stress eating last night, I had this angry feeling rage against me that God hates me. We had just gotten our tax return and now we have to spend most of it on transportation. I would much rather spend it on the house, a mission trip or save it for college. My dear husband reminded me that God doesn’t hate me, or our family. He loves us and is teaching us to trust Him.

We decided to look for an inexpensive used car rather than pump more money into the clunker we drive. This morning, while I was sleeping, DH found a private seller online and contacted him about meeting this afternoon. We bought the used van in better condition for less than the repair cost of our old one. The family selling it are almost empty nesters with no need for an extra van. They wanted a quick sale for a cross country trip to move their son starting a new career. I am praying that the deal will be a blessing for both us and them. And that car troubles will no longer a cause for worry and anxiety, at least for a while.