2015…this was going to be her year. The events of last year seemed only a distant memory now, parts of it almost a nightmare. She had spent the last few days writing down goals and hopes for the future. Many changes would need to happen and motivation was key. The very word was somewhat foreign after a year of heavy depression, anxiety, and loss of a desire for life. She recalled how she had made a plan at the same time last year to end her existence. Most of the evenings she had drunk enough to numb her negative mind and would fall asleep at a much later hour than the rest of the house.
The best part of last year was that she had dried up. It had been 94 days since her last drink, the night before she left for rehab. She still craved alcohol, tempted to give in occasionally, but she felt so much better without it. She was moving on; away from the sadness, anger and unhappiness from prior years. Health, happiness, dreams and success were on the road ahead. She needed to do it, to prove she deserved it and that she could.
How to find that motivation? That was the challenge. In the past she found that drive by showing others she could. This time, it must be different. She wanted to do this for her, but more importantly, she wanted to live her life for God. She mostly had a rocky relationship with Him but she wanted that to change along with the other things in life. She wanted to grow closer to and follow Him toward whatever He had in store for her and her family.