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Sexual sin is a tricky thing. It seems to haunt and hang, dark and daunting. My past is riddled with many regrets and shame. The other day, after reading a few chapters in the book Pathway to Purpose for Women (by Katie Brazelton), I did some repenting. There have been many many times I have asked for forgiveness from God for my sins, but this time something clicked. Because I truly meant it, and really trust that the Lord loves me, I am finally able to forgive myself. I also asked for His help to keep me from falling back into my past. My counselor told me a few weeks ago that forgiveness has many layers; many steps to work through. I didn’t really understand what he meant, but I think now I am beginning to. I am peeling back layers from the past through today. And I must remember to ask the Lord for help every day.
And you know, this might be a little TMI, but I want to share His blessings. I made love to my husband yesterday and I had zero guilty feelings, thoughts or fantasies. I enjoyed it and thanked God for the gift of my husband, my sexuality and my body. I felt loved and I felt free.
Praise God for His merciful love!